OH GEEZ:

You know how sometimes when you just get to busy and stressed you don't know what to do with yourself? Well thats were i'm at. We had a really long conversation at Mock Trial about this today. People like me get so that they have so many priories, that they just about can't handle any of them. We go go go until its impossible to go anymore. We get sick before we take a break. Either that or just push through it even if we are sick. You see, I do my best to be a straight A student. That takes a lot of work. And its frustrating because its not working out for me so well. I always seem to get one A- no matter how hard I try. And then on top of all my school work and homework, i'm loaded with extra-curricular and sports. Here is my list:

• Jazz 1
• Show Choir
• Mock Trial
• Speech
• Student Council
• Track
• Cross Country 
• Church

Its a lot of work but I feel like I have to do it all. And most of the time, I enjoy them. So I'll keep doing them and push through all the set backs and the frustrations. Its won't always be so bad, but thats who I am. I'm not a quitter. I have about 10 priorities, so deal with it! Haha. 

COURAGE:

Courage (n) : the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, or pain without fear; bravery.
When I read that, WOW! I want that. Can I be the person to have that. To be fearless and brave. That sounds like something that would stand out. If you are a courageous person, your not going to fit in. Your gonna stand out. It means something special to be that extraordinary one.
When you are courageous, you have to DO. You have to be the one to stand up and make a difference. I think thats what it means. The ability to make a difference. One person can change things. And I promise, some things need to change. "Two guys flipped the world, imagine what a group of people could do." Imagine what a group could do in our High School. I hope soon that there is someone or a bunch of someones that actually have the courage to face the difficulty, danger and fear. No one said its going to be easy, but thats we have courage.

LEADERSHIP:

"be a leader, NOT A FOLLOWER." I heard that almost everyday in elementary school, everyday I had physical education that is. It was a well know saying from our teacher Paul Woodside. He would say "Be a leader" and the class would cheer "Not a follower" in unison. That little statement is the truth. Its our nature to always look to other people for direction. Luckily there are some that can take that challenge on. The people that take the job, the responsibility. You see leadership is really important to me. I do my best to be the Leader. I want to be able to make my own decisions, to be responsible and be an example. Its not always easy. I find myself so overwhelmed, getting deeper and deeper in the responsibilities that i have taken on. My life consists of prioritizing and using every minute of my time wisely.I try to give 100 percent to everything I do, if only i had 900% to give. But sometimes I fail. I am not perfect. Its okay. I just pick the pieces back up and keep going, thats all I can do. I have to ask myself am I really doing this for the right reasons? What is most important to me? Even thats hard because I'm not a quitter. Its not who I am. I pray that when I fail, I don't hurt the people I love, the ones that are looking up to me, relying on me. I will always be as best of Leader possible. Even when it seems impossible.

MOCK TRIAL:

Mock trial practices started a while ago, but I couldn't be there because of musical practices. I started going last week, only that was to help the middle schoolers with preparing their case. So THIS week was my first week. Yesterday at practice I was told that i was going to be a witness for Macy Paul, a varsity lawyer. I was very happy with that. I love being a witness, but I have been a lawyer. Today when I came to practice, everything was changed. I am now the lawyer for Carol Lein, a freshman, portraying the role of an expert witness. It so very frustrating. You start working on your stuff, then you throw that work away, now useless, so you can start over. That is the way it is all year it seems. With Mr. Chalmers as our coach. Not to say he is a bad coach, because he is good, just easily distracted and slightly complicated. The amazing thing is our Varsity is really, really good. They go to state. Hopefully this year they can win it. We got high hopes. Who knows. Hopefully all this frustration and stress that Mock Trial causes me will pay off one day and I will get a chance to compete in state.

GIVING:

I love the topic of giving, and giving itself. There are so many kinds of giving. The thing about all of them is that you always get back. The feeling that what you give is appreciated. That what you did was good and helpful. That warm cuddly inside. Sometimes even thanks in a written letter or note. Or a big crushing hug. To me its better than getting. Another thing is that everyone can give, no matter what. It can be time, money, gifts, and so many other things! I'm looking forward to the Hero project and being able to give my time for a good cause. Time is so valuable to me and when i can give it for someone other than me, it feels pretty good. I've volunteered before, raking leaves and such, helping out at church, but when you know you are doing it because you really want to. It is so much better. I love that its the holiday season coming up to. There is a spirit of joy and giving in the air. It makes some people stop thinking about themselves for a moment. If everyone could do that a little more often, including me... the world would change. Oh how it would spin...

MAGGIE:

My sister and her boyfriend got a puppy this summer. She was born June 21. A little girl in a litter of 14.German Short-hairs. They named her Lola. They being my Dad's cousin and his family. They got her at the end of August I think. We haven't had a pet at our house since I was in fourth grade. We had a yellow lab named Ally. My mom strongly dislikes indoor pets so Ally was outside and we felt bad! When Maggie, formerly Lola came along, everything changed. There hasn't been a day that she has come over and stayed outside. Just a little sleepy bundle. She didn't bother anythings. Now Maggie is a not so little ball of energy. With her teeth and nose into everything. We all love her though! She is so funny. Maggie plus pickles equals giggles! And lettuce too! She knows when someone is missing from the family and she will go looking for them. When my dad comes home, he will talk to the dog before any of us! Haha. My mom still hasn't kicked her out yet, very surprising. The other night she noticed the deer we have mounted in our living room. That was the most anyone has heard her bark. It was so funny! She is brave when it comes to the turkey though! Its so fun to have her around. Even though she doesn't live at our house she comes to visit. Having a puppy around now is so different then it was when I was little. I miss Ally but I realize I didn't pay much attention to her then. I was so used to always having a dog around it was nothing special. So now when Maggie come to visit, we all have a lot of fun! haha.

HOPE:

The Holocaust is about hope. The people that made it, are the ones who still held on to a glimmer of hope. Hope is the reason we live. We hope for the future, the things to come. They always seem better than the present. We spend our time thinking about the future. There is not a moment in our life when we do not. We go to school so that we can get a job. We practice for sports so that we will be ready to compete. We sleep so that we won't be tired for the next day.We plan our future our whole life. Everything we do. When we loose hope, we don't have a reason to live. There is nothing to look forward to. Nothing for our future so why would we do what we do now for it? I'm sure that is all that the prisoners thought about. If they didn't have family of friends or anything to live for, why would they? They didn't think they would make it through the torture. Through the complete misery. Once they lost hope they thought death would be easier than living. No more empty stomachs, no more forced labor, no more bells, no more guards, no more pain. That sounded so much better. With no hope of a life in the future. "And these three remain, Faith, Love, and Hope and the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13

TOBYMAC & SKILLET:

On Saturday the 23rd of November I attended the TobyMac and Skillet concert in Minneapolis. It was a show part of their Winter Wonder Tour. It was also the biggest show. I was there along with 12,999 other people. Every seat was full. When the performers came on stage with their grand enterance the crowd erupted in screams, shouts or any thing loud. From the stage came five pillars of fire. Skillet. They put on a great show with tons of amazing effects. Stages that move up and down, lots more fire, and lights. The typical concert. My favorite part other than the singing, was when he told stories. Before the band sang "Lucy." I wonder how many people know the story behind it, because it a pretty powerful one. A pregnant girl, a big decision, regret, counseling, death, and a name. It shows more who the people singing the songs are. It was an awesome show. Then after intermission came TobyMac & Diverse City. That was exciting. They weren't full of as many effects like fire and a moving stage, but they had moves. Most of their songs were choreographed. That looked sweet. They even took a couple break dancing breaks. They also had an acoustic set with some classics. A few hymns, Christmas songs, and D.C. Talk.  Both groups did a good job of showing off each individuals' talents. Diverse City really is a good band name. They got the classics and then some trumpets and a DJ. I guess that is what makes them interesting and a really good band. They are original. All with different styles and personalities. It was a concert I'm glad I didn't miss.

SET BACKS:

All through life we have set backs. Road blocks that we have to get around. They will slow us down, make us choose a new path, but we will always make it through them, in just enough time to meet another one. When I think of the Holocaust, I think of all of those people who met a road block, so big that most people couldn't get through it. They made it impossible. "They," who were "they"? Yeah they were the Germans, the Nazis who obeyed Hitler. But they were people. How could they have truly convinced themselves that the Jews were not people. They made all of those road blocks. They doug out their teeth with rusty spoons. They watched as people starve. They watched as babies burn, the smell of it filling their noses. They plainly murdered a life and then kept going, with an endless number of bullets, of lives. Did they have road blocks? They made the most impossible for others and went on with their lives. We can make it through the things life throws at us. They help us grow. All you have to do is find another route.

ADAPTATION:

All humans adapt. Its pretty much a fact of life. Its a natural thing to do. We all want the most in our life and we will adapt to make that happen. I think a synonym to adaptation might be tolerance. We tolerate so many things because we can't change them, so we adapt to them. The problem is that we tolerate to much. We let them go just as they are and the issue gets worse and worse. Tolerance and adaption might be the easy way out but its not always the best. I'm not saying that adaption is bad, because in many situations its not. Someone who is allergic to cats needs to adapt to living without them. It just makes sense. In "Night" by Elie Wiesel, Wiesel mentions how one day they were living in their home, the next day their friends and family were sent away, and the day after that they were forgotten. They didn't have energy or time to worry about where they had gone or if they would see them again. They adapted to their new living conditions. The human body adapts to function best. If you are cold, you start shivering to warm up. If you eat a lot of food, you have a high metabolism. That is how it works. You adapt to live. Good or Bad? True.

I CARE: HUMANITY

I care. I really really care about you. About People. Lately I have been doing a terrible job of showing that. I can get so caught up in myself. About all the stress I have. About all of the things that I have going on. About all of my problems. I have been showing that. Showing them my anger in the frustration, when that is the last thing they need. People need love. Thats what makes us so special. We all have so much emotion. We all want to feel like we have a place. That we are accepted and loved. That people care. We want to know who will be there for us when we are going through a tough time. Who is truly our friend and will never turn their back. Thats what everyone wants. Whether they show it or not. That is why we get into relationships in high school when we know they won't last. Because we would rather feel loved for the short time than be without that. We think its going to solve our problems and give us acceptance. That it will be easier. But truth is it hurts. People hurt and we have no idea. The things we go through to feel loved are to the extreme. We have gotten so good at hiding all the bigger problems to the people that care. We want to show them we are strong on our own and everything is just hunky-dory. But thats where I come in. I care. I want to love you and I won't think less of you. If we all cared, maybe people wouldn't have to feel like that. And that would be amazing!

CHOIR:

On Friday 10.19.10 the Albert Lea High School Choir held their first concert at the First Lutheran Church in Albert Lea. The ALHS orchestra also performed. There are three choirs at the High School. An all ninth grade choir, Tiger Choir. An all girls choir with mostly tenth graders, Varsity Choir. And Concert Choir which consists of eleventh and twelfth grade students and also tenth grade guys. Diane Heaney directs all three choirs. She is the best. This summer she was diagnosed with breast cancer and has been going through some really tough stuff. Despite having to be gone for treatments and being ill, she was there. She taught us just as much as if she could have been there everyday. All the Choirs sounded great last night. My sister in Concert Choir had a solo and I was told that she had a voice like an Angel. She is so talented and amazing! Love you Jess! But I think most people would agree that everyones' favorite was the finale. We sang "How Can I Keep from Singing." This is such a powerful song with a story behind it about a missionary that was in Haiti when the earthquake happened. A junior boy read the story and then we began to sing. The choirs surrounded the audience. About 200 students I would estimate. It wasn't far into the song when on the faces of the audience, tears rolled down. I don't think they all knew what to do when the song ended until the applause began. Then it built and built until we received a standing ovation. Its so amazing what one voice can do in a solo and 200 voices can do in a finale.

BEAUTY:

When I think of beauty, I think of the outdoors. There are so many beautiful things out side. Like sunrises, sunsets, a field of wild flowers, the most vibrant colors you will ever see, a white blanket of snow, a thick wood and all of the animals that fill it. Its so pretty. Not to mention all the smells. Like fresh cut grass, burning leaves, and crisp morning air. Its really beautiful. Its all so... alive. So full of life. I love just being in it. Camping, hunting, snowmobiling, fishing. Something for every season. It lets me see it all. To sit in the woods and be invisible to all the creatures around me as they go about their business. Honestly, I've never killed anything but thats okay with me. People are really beautiful too. God created us all in his image so theres not an ugly one in the bunch! Well in the 7 billion. I think inner beauty is most important though. No matter what you look like, that is what shines through. "So don't be afraid to let it show, you true colors are beautiful..."

TRACK:

Running. I love it. I didn't really start running until i was about 12. I was so exicited to be in Track. My family is not big into sports, so it was my choice. My family is more interested in fishing, hunting, boating, hiking, and camping. I also love thoes things but I looking forward to Track and being on a team. So once April rolled around in 7th grade, I started track. I didn't know what event to do or what race to run so the coaches kind of decided for me. They put me in the 100 meter dash, the 4x100 meter relay, and long jumping. I ran thoes races for most of the season, but i knew they weren't right for me. Not to mention I was bad at them. I enjoyed long jumping though. I just had a hard time practicing it because I thought to much about. When 8th grade Track season rolled around, I was sure I wanted to do it again and maybe try new things. To start it out I ran the same races and maybe even a 200. I just wasn't feeling it. It wasn't the kind of running I enjoyed. Then I ran the SWMS Tiger Trot. It is a 5k or 3.1 miles. My coach was there and watched the race. I came in first in my age group. The next week at practice I was running with the long distance girls. They put me in the 1600 or mile at the next meet, and I loved it. I kept running the 1600 for the rest of the season, and I kept improving. Then came 9th grade track season after a lot of contemplation to run cross country i decided not to. So now i was running JV track. The first meet I ran the 800 meter and i had a really good time. Next meet I ran the mile and i had not so good of time. So the coaches kept putting me in the 800 and the 4x800 My times kept improving at it was my race that year. I ended up being moved up to Varsity at the end of the season. I enjoyed it so much. I got my best time, a 2:43 at Big 9 running varsity. Thats not the fastest but its my time and I'm proud of it. I worked for that and it feels great.

RAPPING & CHRISTIANITY:

Rapping. Christianity. Two things that people don't expect to see together. Lots of teenagers think of the Church as a building that smells a little funny and has a organ. And you have to stand up and sit down at the right times. Sing from a book. And repeat things back that you are supposed to have memorized. They think its full of grandmas that make cookies and grandpas that drink their coffee black. And they listen to Christian rap? I think not. A lot of teenagers don't like Christian music. Its old and boring and has no "dance factor." But really in the genre Christian music I think that there is something for everyone. The Rap is so much fun though. My favorite is Lecrae. "Their lyrics have so much truth."-Shelby Little. But its so much fun to listen too. A few other favorites are Skillet,  Brooke Fraiser, and NeedToBreathe. They are all such different Christian music but they aren't boring. I love music so much. Its a huge factor in my life. Its helps me. To pray without ceasing, to worship him everyday, to stay faithful, and grow deeper. Its kinda hard to say what music is to me cause its more than i can know. Whats your favorite?

FREEDOM:

Freedom is one thing I pray that I don't take for granted. Well, I don't want to take anything for granted but definitely not freedom. I'm so thankful for freedom. It means different things to different people but I'd say its important to everyone. So many people have given their lives so we could be free. As I drive by the National Cemetery in Minneapolis, I get chills seeing small white stones as far as the eye can see. Some with a name, some without. They died for freedom. Since the start of humanity, we have wanted fought for freedom. One county from another. A slave from a owner. The right to vote. There are so many different freedoms. We live in a country where we have so much freedom. We are so privileged. I am thankful for each and every one of those freedoms. Men and women are treated equally, the color of your skin doesn't matter, we have a say in our government, we have the right to bear arms, and the freedom of speech and the list goes on. There is one freedom that can never be taken away from me though. No matter where I am or what I have. One man died for me to cover my sins so that I may be free and have eternal life. I have been set free and I am so thankful.

PUMPKINS:

I love the Fall. Its my favorite season. When the leaves start to change color and the trees look like fire. The air is so crisp and I sleep with my window open, wrapped up in blankets. Bonfires on the weekends. Laying on the dewy grass looking at the stars. Just talking. Raking leaves with the youth group. Sweatshirts and jeans. Pumpkins and corn mazes. Jack-O-Lanterns and kids dressing up on sugar highs. Fields being picked left and right, disappearing every day. Deer hunting. Its so beautiful. I can't get enough of outside during the fall. What is your favorite season?

FAIRNESS & JUSTICE:

I truly believe in justice. I believe that America and most other countries need a good, strong judicial system. If we didn't I know in America it would be mass chaos. But thats the thing, why do people need a justice system? Why are we so crazy that we have to be controlled? We have all these rules that people vote on and decide. More and more everyday. Even though we have more rules now then we did 50 or 100 years ago it seems we have just as much or more of a problem. Its like people just break rules cause they want to break rules and they have nothing better to do. If only people would RESPECT and "treat others as you want to be treated." Would we have so much of a problem? Its funny to me how no one is every happy about the rules or the government or court no matter what the rules are. I guess I'm not the biggest fan of fairness either. It is a good thing not to be biased and just be fair but when people got the idea in their head that everything has to be fair thats when the problems came too. People get so upset. Sometimes they have a right to be upset and its understood. But it seems like most people blow this out of proportion. I just try to think it through.  Most of the things are not worthy of anger or my time for that matter. We are so lucky. We live in amazing country with all these freedoms and rules that are there to keep us safe. We can sleep in peace at night. I can go to school and learn and someday have a job and a family. That alone is more than thousands of people. We have all the luxuries. I hate complaining but the truth is I do it to, I am human. But I try to be as thankful as I can. RESPECT... Do you?

A GREAT DAY:

Yesterday was October 2, 2010. I had a really good day yesterday. In the morning I had Cross Country Practice. At practice instead of running, Carol Lein and I decorated a laundry basket. The basket is for the warm-ups at the starting line because we can't carry them all very easily. It was cold out but at the end of practice we had juice and mini donuts for Bailey Thompson's 16th birthday. After practice I went to Chrissy Monson's house to warm up. Then went for B & B. It was so yummy! After lunch and hanging out some at her house, we went to the Rendezvous. We met up with some more friends and walked around, watched the magic show, and looked at all the things. We even got matching shark tooth necklaces. After the Rendezvous we went back to Chrissy's house and had chili. That was yummy too. And finally to end the night we had a bonfire. It was so beautiful out. Just talking underneath the stars, and playing cards. It was so nice to be outside on a gorgeous fall day. Spending time with friends and family. I couldn't have imagined a better day. But the thing that never ceases to amaze me is that one day, everyday will be that good. Even better. I will get to spend eternity with the people I love. Better is one day in your house, better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere. I am so excited for that day...

NOISE & SILENCE:

 My older sister Jessica spent the summer at Prairie River Camp by Bryceland, MN. Being an intern she pretty much lived there for most of the time. She interned with 6 other teenagers. The "director, Renae, was also there a lot of the time with her two kids, Ben and Ana. They all got so close, like a great big family. Today is Jessica's eighteenth birthday. To celebrate we had the bunch from camp over. Only two of the interns could make it.  We had pizza, birthday cake and ice cream. After we ate, she opened her gifts from everyone. When we were done eating we just hung out and talked. The whole time everyone was laughing and having a good time. There wasn't a quiet moment the whole time. Renae is a very loud person, she always seems so excited, which is a really good thing. Ben is also a lot like his mom, loud and excited. He is the funny one. The noise volume was very high and there was so much excitement the whole time. When they left, my parents pretty much just let out a big sigh and said "its quiet." My Family is a very quiet family. None of us are really loud people. We still laugh a lot and talk a lot, just with less volume. I'm so used to it being quieter all the time it was fun to have a change, but I couldn't handle being so loud all the time. Its just different personalities. I love my family the way they are and i'm used to that but i also love the camp family they always are so excited and happy. There is never a dull moment there. But  i'm glad i have the chance to quietly listen to my music and type this. What kind of family do you have?  

SYATP

One Day in September every year is a National day of prayer called See You At the Pole. Today was See You at the Pole. SYATP is a global day of prayer.It started with just a few students in Texas at a  youth group retreat. They felt led to go to their school and pray.Today students meet at their school to pray for a variety of things. Usually around a flag pole. It is completely student lead. In America students legally have the right to do this. I am so thankful and feel so privileged to be able to do this. Although we can't mention prayer on a poster or talk openly about it with teachers or administrators inside the school, we can say everything we need by action. Today at Albert Lea High School there was approximately 40 people that attended. As we stood around the flagpole, hand in hand, students walked by. Some were curious. Some ignored us. Some laughed. One even took a picture. But it didn't matter what the did or what they thought we weren't there for them. The only thing that broke my heart was that they walked by. Maybe they despised us or maybe they were afraid to be judged but whatever the reason, they didn't stand by us. It takes faith to stand there proclaiming your faith as your peers walk by. Not to mention get up early and be there at 7 am in the cold. We prayed for those students. We prayed for the faculty. For the administration. For the government. For the president. We prayed for you. A few students even lead worship and everyone sang. SYATP is one of my favorite things that happen during the year. I am so thankful for it. For the opportunity. I'm thankful that I am not afraid to proclaim my faith to my peers by showing up at 7 am and standing in front of a flag pole at my school as other students walk by to pray for them.

FRIENDSHIP: don't forget

Friendship. Everyone has friends. They are a part of life. Friends are there when you need them. Friends are supposed to be the people you can go to when you need something. You can trust them. Going through life without friends would be super hard or impossible. In High School friends consume your life. You hang out with them in sports. You hang out with them on weekends and every other possible time. They are the people that are supposed to make you happy. They make you laugh when you are feeling down. Why wouldn't you want to be with them as much as you can? When you spend so much time with people they have an influence on you whether you want them to or not. If they like to do a certain thing and you wan't to be with them, won't you do that thing too? You start having common interests, then mutual friends and eventually friends can become just like family. Friends make you who you are. They funny thing is friends are your life, until you graduate. Maybe your best friend is in your wedding or is there when you graduate college. But you forget most of them. You have a lot of catching up at the 5 year High School Reunion. You don't know them like you used to. Maybe won't even talk to them. But they were the people that made you who you are. Your friends were once like family but now you find out that they won't Always be there. Not like family. Family will stand behind you no matter what happens. You will always be able to go to them, to trust them. Family is one of the most important things in my life and they will always be that way. But Friends are pretty amazing too. Just make sure they are making you, the person you wan't to be someday.

A Song

For my first blog post I thought I better explain why i choose the title "If I Die Young" and the URL, wordsofalovesong.blogspot. The main reason is a song. I first heard this song when i was on my way to the North Shore with my family for our vacation this summer. That is where I took the picture behind the title of my blog. When we were close to Duluth the only station we get on the radio was a fairy decent country station. They played this song quite a few times and I really started to love it. The song is by The Band Perry. These are the lyrics:

 If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
oh oh oh oh
Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She'll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time
If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time
And I’ll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I’m as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I’ve never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There’s a boy here in town says he’ll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time
So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I’m a gone
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin’
If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
oh oh
The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need 'em oh
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time
So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls

http://www.sweetslyrics.com/754725.The%20Band%20Perry%20-%20If%20I%20Die%20Young.html

Not only do I love the words but the music is really pretty too. Even though the song is a little depressing its really beautiful. I also like the music video too. I think you can get different messages out of this song. I think it  talks about how not to take life for granted. Any amount of time we get here on this earth is amazing but one day we will be gone and forgotten. The ones that morn our death will die one day too. We will all leave a legacy.  Will your thoughts be sold for a penny or a dollar?