So sometimes, there are people in your life that just make you want to be someone better. I'm fortunate enough to know quite a few of those kind of people.
Their talent, ability, and even more the use of them make you sit in awe and amazement of the beautiful person God has shaped them to be. Lately there is one person in my life who I can't even begin to realize how inspiring he is.
I see him around school and he is always smiling and laughing. He seems to brighten everyone's day. He has so much natural talent, whether it is schoolwork, choir, drawing, or even leadership.
I have had the chance to watch him in numerous athletic events. His focus and dedication to a sport makes me believe that he isn't in the game to see the victory at the end, although he deserves it more than anything, but to better the guys that he is competing with and against. Even when the crowd is cheering his name and the coaches couldn't be prouder, and his parents' faces show their amazement of the boy they have raised into a man, his steps are with humility. He draws attention not to himself but to his team who has helped make it all happen. That is what I see. The superstar athlete who daily shows leadership in practice and will give one hundred percent at the least.
But that is not all I get to see. I get to stand next to him as he leads a hundred people in worship every week. Here, his heart pours out joy and love that is straight from the Lord. As his voice perfectly matches the rhythmic chords of his guitar, you know the Holy Spirit is carrying him and the Lord is smiling down, "well done good and faithful servant" on his lips. His prayers cry from his heart the desires of the Lord. He reminds us all that we need to live fully committed to the Lord, to seek his face, to fear him, and to trust him.
I can't even explain this man. It's incredible, his whole life. He is so talented. He is a leader. He is such a blessing. I think of him and all the other wonderful people I have had the chance to know, and it kills me to think that life will call me away from them so shortly. I pray that it is in God's plan for me to be a part of their lives in the future. I will continue to learn from example and pray that I can live for the Lord just as they do.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Rest
So i've really gotten back into reading recently, and right now i'm reading Captivating by John and Staci Eldridge. I recommend it for any woman. It will encourage you and teach you things that no one has ever had the courage to say to you. Truths that will change the way you live and perceive things if you let them.
Today I was reading about Rest. It told of how beauty is found in a woman who doesn't strive to be something, but who is at peace in her life, and more importantly in her walk with the Lord. People are able to find rest in her; actions and words. She is welcoming and possesses all the qualities we want to have. She isn't consumed with anything but Jesus.
Oh, how I desire to be that woman. I want to give others rest, allow them to feel that when they are in my presence and I am in theirs' that I care about them enough to set aside everything just to let them know that my love is genuine. I want to sit, eat, drink, give joy, encouragement, refreshment to people.
But in all my desires, I cannot grab hold of what is that beauty. I know the importance of rest simply because I haven't experienced it. I feel vulnerable because of the limits I reach. I am weak in my ability to say no and limit myself because I desire to be more than I am. I desire to have more impact in others lives by my example and leadership. I am constantly overwhelming myself with my agenda and a ticking clock.
A woman of beauty is said to have no concerns but the present and what it holds, clearing her agenda for things more important in the moment doesn't hold her back and weigh her down, it frees her from worldly things and allows her to carry out the Lord's work in the moment she is presented with it.
I want that. All of it. I hate that I leave the house just before 7am everyday and don't get back home until after 9 or 10pm sometimes. Not to rest but to start the mountains of homework I have carried on my shoulders all day (literally). I accept every challenge even when I know i'm not superwoman. I want to impress people. I want to show them righteous living. But feel as I've almost lost sight of what that is. Even more I want to hear "well done good and faithful servant" on the day I stand before the Lord. I have let down every person that I strove to set an example for.
All I want to do as I stare at my Calculus homework and the countless other textbooks, assignments, blood drive papers, and student council meeting agendas is find rest in the Lord. To know that I am beautiful. That I am welcoming and not in vain.
{[ Living 1 Peter 5:7 ]}
Today I was reading about Rest. It told of how beauty is found in a woman who doesn't strive to be something, but who is at peace in her life, and more importantly in her walk with the Lord. People are able to find rest in her; actions and words. She is welcoming and possesses all the qualities we want to have. She isn't consumed with anything but Jesus.
Oh, how I desire to be that woman. I want to give others rest, allow them to feel that when they are in my presence and I am in theirs' that I care about them enough to set aside everything just to let them know that my love is genuine. I want to sit, eat, drink, give joy, encouragement, refreshment to people.
But in all my desires, I cannot grab hold of what is that beauty. I know the importance of rest simply because I haven't experienced it. I feel vulnerable because of the limits I reach. I am weak in my ability to say no and limit myself because I desire to be more than I am. I desire to have more impact in others lives by my example and leadership. I am constantly overwhelming myself with my agenda and a ticking clock.
A woman of beauty is said to have no concerns but the present and what it holds, clearing her agenda for things more important in the moment doesn't hold her back and weigh her down, it frees her from worldly things and allows her to carry out the Lord's work in the moment she is presented with it.
I want that. All of it. I hate that I leave the house just before 7am everyday and don't get back home until after 9 or 10pm sometimes. Not to rest but to start the mountains of homework I have carried on my shoulders all day (literally). I accept every challenge even when I know i'm not superwoman. I want to impress people. I want to show them righteous living. But feel as I've almost lost sight of what that is. Even more I want to hear "well done good and faithful servant" on the day I stand before the Lord. I have let down every person that I strove to set an example for.
All I want to do as I stare at my Calculus homework and the countless other textbooks, assignments, blood drive papers, and student council meeting agendas is find rest in the Lord. To know that I am beautiful. That I am welcoming and not in vain.
{[ Living 1 Peter 5:7 ]}
Monday, October 29, 2012
Matthew 5
So it's midterm week at ALHS. And for every junior and senior taking any college classes, it means there are more tests than you can count on your fingers. More content than you think you could possibly squeeze into your brain, and not a second to give it a rest or shake out your hand cramp.
Being a senior, I feel like I know what to expect for this week. I can't even fit everything into my agenda but i don't seem to be worried. After all why in the world am I blogging when I have ump-teen tests to study for, a project to do, a birthday present to make, a trumpet to practice, songs to learn, and a job to attend to. But it seems that it is in these times, I find that I need God the most.
I am in constant prayer about keeping my head on straight and so many other things. I'm beginning to know how thankful I am for these times when I truly know that I can't do it without him. He fulfills His promises, letting me know that He listens, prayer works, and He will never leave me.
What more could I want?! I mean good grades are valuable and I really do care about them, but just the fact that the God of the entire universe is with my while I take my tests, study, drive, eat, sleep, whatever... just blows me away. Nothing else is should consume more of my time than God.
But I'm not perfect, and unless its fulfilling some work for school, I struggle to make time to get into the Word. I think my prayers also become more self-centered, praying for God to help ME do well on the test, and helping ME to remember the content of this Government flashcard. Maybe taking the time to pray for the success of someone else during these times will take us both farther than before.
And although we are all overwhelmed and exhausted I can't help but be thankful that we have a school to go to, we have huge textbooks to learn from, we have a bunch of teachers to give us crazy loads of work. I'm just thinking about how different my life would look like if I didn't have those opportunities.
Others my same age are stressed about being able to take care of their ailing parents, about having a job that will help meet the needs of their young siblings, about taking care of their own children, about having food to eat and water to drink.
I'm laying in my warm bed, in my safe house. I'm comfortable. What a <BLESSING!>. I have this beautiful computer that has helped make my school work easier and convenient. I have a job, two actually. I can eat whatever I want just about whenever I want. I'm healthy. I'm cared for. I'm loved.
WOAH. God is Great. I'm so thankful for all the studying I need to do right now, i'm so lucky and fortunate to have it.
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father heeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:26-27
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
Being a senior, I feel like I know what to expect for this week. I can't even fit everything into my agenda but i don't seem to be worried. After all why in the world am I blogging when I have ump-teen tests to study for, a project to do, a birthday present to make, a trumpet to practice, songs to learn, and a job to attend to. But it seems that it is in these times, I find that I need God the most.
I am in constant prayer about keeping my head on straight and so many other things. I'm beginning to know how thankful I am for these times when I truly know that I can't do it without him. He fulfills His promises, letting me know that He listens, prayer works, and He will never leave me.
What more could I want?! I mean good grades are valuable and I really do care about them, but just the fact that the God of the entire universe is with my while I take my tests, study, drive, eat, sleep, whatever... just blows me away. Nothing else is should consume more of my time than God.
But I'm not perfect, and unless its fulfilling some work for school, I struggle to make time to get into the Word. I think my prayers also become more self-centered, praying for God to help ME do well on the test, and helping ME to remember the content of this Government flashcard. Maybe taking the time to pray for the success of someone else during these times will take us both farther than before.
And although we are all overwhelmed and exhausted I can't help but be thankful that we have a school to go to, we have huge textbooks to learn from, we have a bunch of teachers to give us crazy loads of work. I'm just thinking about how different my life would look like if I didn't have those opportunities.
Others my same age are stressed about being able to take care of their ailing parents, about having a job that will help meet the needs of their young siblings, about taking care of their own children, about having food to eat and water to drink.
I'm laying in my warm bed, in my safe house. I'm comfortable. What a <BLESSING!>. I have this beautiful computer that has helped make my school work easier and convenient. I have a job, two actually. I can eat whatever I want just about whenever I want. I'm healthy. I'm cared for. I'm loved.
WOAH. God is Great. I'm so thankful for all the studying I need to do right now, i'm so lucky and fortunate to have it.
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father heeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:26-27
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Psalms
Sometimes, well most of the time, I want to be able to sit down and play beautiful melodies not only from my finger tips but from my soul. I wish the music would flow from me like it was meant to be, like there was a purpose for it in my life. I wish my voice would ring out sweet harmonies and blend to make a beautiful chorus to the Lord.
I suppose (supongo) that its all possible. If i was meant to have that talent I would. Either if it come naturally or by dedication to the art of the music, has no bearing. I believe that God will equip you and then bless you with all the talents you need to serve him and bring him glory. In his time, if you let him.
There are so many things I wish to do, to make a difference. But I haven't done any of them and I don't know why. A lack of time, a lack of creativity and feasibility, or is it fear? But what would I fear in doing them if I am doing them for the glory of the Father? Maybe that i'm afraid that I would hear what he has to say to me.
I pray that the Lord will use me, but am I letting it happen? If I was listening to the Lord, wouldn't I be planning a half marathon to support world vision; or how about a girls retreat for the girls at crossroads and even outside its walls? They desperately need to be reached and it become known that they are beautiful, they are valued, and they are wanted. Our society is a powerful enemy that believers need to stand against in the name of the Lord. He will conquer all, so why aren't we winning? Are we not believing? Are we not praying? Where is our faith?
Maybe it's stuck in the "maybes." We all have them. Maybe one day I will plan that marathon, and maybe one day someone will reach out to bring light to young girls living in darkness. But maybe, just maybe, someone is listening. And they are letting God use them. I pray that they will be examples to all. And I pray that all fear that is not of the Lord be cast deep into the pits of hell so that believers will boldly stand and proclaim the good news.
And that news is the most beautiful music anyone could play. You see, we all have it. But its "maybes," fear, and deaf ears that we have also. I pray that we can overcome these and truly seek the Lord in all our ways.
I'm reminded how powerful prayer is, and its astonishing. I can't imagine what it could do, but He has a plan for every word. "Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." --Psalm 62:8
I suppose (supongo) that its all possible. If i was meant to have that talent I would. Either if it come naturally or by dedication to the art of the music, has no bearing. I believe that God will equip you and then bless you with all the talents you need to serve him and bring him glory. In his time, if you let him.
There are so many things I wish to do, to make a difference. But I haven't done any of them and I don't know why. A lack of time, a lack of creativity and feasibility, or is it fear? But what would I fear in doing them if I am doing them for the glory of the Father? Maybe that i'm afraid that I would hear what he has to say to me.
I pray that the Lord will use me, but am I letting it happen? If I was listening to the Lord, wouldn't I be planning a half marathon to support world vision; or how about a girls retreat for the girls at crossroads and even outside its walls? They desperately need to be reached and it become known that they are beautiful, they are valued, and they are wanted. Our society is a powerful enemy that believers need to stand against in the name of the Lord. He will conquer all, so why aren't we winning? Are we not believing? Are we not praying? Where is our faith?
Maybe it's stuck in the "maybes." We all have them. Maybe one day I will plan that marathon, and maybe one day someone will reach out to bring light to young girls living in darkness. But maybe, just maybe, someone is listening. And they are letting God use them. I pray that they will be examples to all. And I pray that all fear that is not of the Lord be cast deep into the pits of hell so that believers will boldly stand and proclaim the good news.
And that news is the most beautiful music anyone could play. You see, we all have it. But its "maybes," fear, and deaf ears that we have also. I pray that we can overcome these and truly seek the Lord in all our ways.
I'm reminded how powerful prayer is, and its astonishing. I can't imagine what it could do, but He has a plan for every word. "Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." --Psalm 62:8
Friday, October 19, 2012
Proverbs
I just need to get some stuff out and when its written, well typed, i can understand my thoughts more. And this very neglected blog page needs some spaghetti of thinking splattered on it.
Sometimes I want to know what would be in my head if no one else influenced my thoughts. Sometimes the things they say get to me. And then they get stuck. And now i'm starting to believe the little words of influence they had, have claimed my mind and left me worse off.
What frustrates me more is that their intentions when dropping little parasites into my mind isn't to eat off the bad, of their own intentions that I know not of. It kills me when even my believing Christian friends are the ones who add to my confusion and chaos of thoughts.
The times I just feel like a complete mess, I want them to be guiding me on his path. I feel as if i'm searching fervently for God's little words of direction and encouragement, and then i'm left feeling helpless.
Not once has my God abandoned me. But he has stretched me in my times of confusion. I just don't want to mess up. I want to be walking in his ways and not my own because i'm afraid of what could happen if I tried to take control of my own life. The pain and disaster I would have, puts fear in me that is uncontainable without the Lord's power.
I feel so many life-changing decisions being pressed onto me right now. Realization that i'm a senior and next year I will be leaving the only place i've known for the last seventeen years. I won't spend everyday in a community that has blessed me more than I could know. That I have to leave people that I never want to loose.
I don't want to let time and distance grow us apart. Because of them, I am who I am. I am sure of God and his presence in my life. I know that he loves me, but its so hard to penetrate my heart with the knowledge that that is all I need. I don't feel that i'm living on that. I wish I was.
Sometimes I just wish certain people were not just friends but family so that I would have to see them a minimum of twice a year indefinitely.
I'm scared. And I need to trust the Lord. I'm scared of the future and what it holds because it is so unknown to me. I'm scared of what i'm leaving. I don't want to leave and be gone. I want to be remembered, and missed not forgotten or replaced. I want to know that when I leave, I will have made a difference for the glory and furtherment of God's glorious kingdom.
I want to know that I hold a place in the hearts of my family, friends, coworkers, peers, and others. I want my intentions and thoughts to be pure. "My child, listen to me and treasure my instructions. Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight and understanding. Search for them as you would for lost money or hidden treasure. Then you will understand what it means to fear the lord, and you will gain knowledge of God. For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He grants a treasure of good sense to the godly. He is their shield, protecting those who walk with integrity. He guards the paths of justice and protects those who are faithful to him. " Proverbs 2:1-8
Sometimes I want to know what would be in my head if no one else influenced my thoughts. Sometimes the things they say get to me. And then they get stuck. And now i'm starting to believe the little words of influence they had, have claimed my mind and left me worse off.
What frustrates me more is that their intentions when dropping little parasites into my mind isn't to eat off the bad, of their own intentions that I know not of. It kills me when even my believing Christian friends are the ones who add to my confusion and chaos of thoughts.
The times I just feel like a complete mess, I want them to be guiding me on his path. I feel as if i'm searching fervently for God's little words of direction and encouragement, and then i'm left feeling helpless.
Not once has my God abandoned me. But he has stretched me in my times of confusion. I just don't want to mess up. I want to be walking in his ways and not my own because i'm afraid of what could happen if I tried to take control of my own life. The pain and disaster I would have, puts fear in me that is uncontainable without the Lord's power.
I feel so many life-changing decisions being pressed onto me right now. Realization that i'm a senior and next year I will be leaving the only place i've known for the last seventeen years. I won't spend everyday in a community that has blessed me more than I could know. That I have to leave people that I never want to loose.
I don't want to let time and distance grow us apart. Because of them, I am who I am. I am sure of God and his presence in my life. I know that he loves me, but its so hard to penetrate my heart with the knowledge that that is all I need. I don't feel that i'm living on that. I wish I was.
Sometimes I just wish certain people were not just friends but family so that I would have to see them a minimum of twice a year indefinitely.
I'm scared. And I need to trust the Lord. I'm scared of the future and what it holds because it is so unknown to me. I'm scared of what i'm leaving. I don't want to leave and be gone. I want to be remembered, and missed not forgotten or replaced. I want to know that when I leave, I will have made a difference for the glory and furtherment of God's glorious kingdom.
I want to know that I hold a place in the hearts of my family, friends, coworkers, peers, and others. I want my intentions and thoughts to be pure. "My child, listen to me and treasure my instructions. Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight and understanding. Search for them as you would for lost money or hidden treasure. Then you will understand what it means to fear the lord, and you will gain knowledge of God. For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He grants a treasure of good sense to the godly. He is their shield, protecting those who walk with integrity. He guards the paths of justice and protects those who are faithful to him. " Proverbs 2:1-8
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